“Note: all the content that you will be reading here is all base on my personal experiences and your situation is maybe different from my experience. So please still read this blog and I hope that this blog can help you about your marriage problems.
All couples goes through a rough times and through that rough time we can make a decision if your relationship is going to continue or you’ll just have to end it. We as married couple has gone through this times too. There are countless night of fights and arguments that I just wish to be over because it’s tiring physically and emotionally, if you’re in this kind of situation you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes I’m asking my self if the marriage is worth saving for? And every time that I ask it I always remember all the happy times that we made together with our children. Those late night movies , the out of town dates and every good memories that we made.
However those good memories can cause you a lot of trouble. The thought of “Happily ever after” is always in our mind to often. We never see what we should really do to keep our marriage going. We always feel comfortable and everything is going to be fine, and suddenly it was not.
You even considered divorce, and I know this feeling, its not fun. This feeling is heartbreaking, harrowing and emotionally and physically tiring. All those happy moments together will go on to waste just because of a misunderstanding. But deep you’re still hoping that you can still save your marriage.
What can you do to save your marriage when all seems lost? How can you save your marriage on a brink of divorce? Is saving your marriage even possible?
The good news is YES you can still save your marriage from a divorce. But there are few things that you need to try and this requires effort and patience. This is not gonna be easy. But it’s Going to be worth it if you really want to save your marriage. And if you’re willing to do this 8 tips to save a marriage on the brink of divorce. Then go read on.
8 key tips to save your marriage from a brink of divorce
1.)Determining if its just a Rough time
As I said earlier all marriage has there own rough times. Sometimes its happy, sometimes it’s not and its important to determine if its one of this days only and don’t go to a decision that you’ll regret later. Just try to work things for a little bit of time. As a married person like me who goes through this kind of situation I will say that work things out at least six months to one year.
The idea of working things out this short is to determine if you can still work things out. In the end you’ll see what your marriage desires are and make a better decisions for your marriage future. And do not goes that way its not too late to have a help from an expert
Waiting more that one year is not advisable for your relationship and may be it will be too late for your marriage to be fix. So act early so you can still save the marriage that you protected for a long time.
-If you’re looking for a help without going to a marriage counselor I fully recommend the “Save the marriage system” by Dr. Lee H. Baucom, PhD. this cheap products has a big part of saving my marriage from a divorce. so I Fully Recommend it to you.
2.) Understand that not all conflicts are destructive and some leads to growth
We all know and we should accept it that problems are part of a marriage. If you have a problem with your spouse or with your marriage it doesn’t mean that you need to file divorce, sometimes it just mean that it is just a problem and you should fight it off. Just look at this problem as a opportunity for your marriage to grow and not to be destructed by it.
But if your relationship is on part of a challenge or problem that you never encounter before, my advice is you just need to keep calm, don’t blame your spouse about what’s happening to your marriage. Your a couple here, it means that there are two of you in the marriage and you shouldn’t blame each other.
If you keep blaming your spouse about what’s happening and always looking on what their doing wrong your spouse may feel attack and this may cause of another arguments and more problems that can cause of your divorce.
I’ve been in this kind of position so PLEASE don’t just read this, take action so you can keep your marriage like I did.
3.) Say ME, not WE.
As I mention earlier don’t blame your spouse about all the wrong things that is happening to your marriage. Marriage is consist with two people and when there’s a problem it means both of you are part of it but doesn’t mean that its both your fault.
What I’m trying to say is that don’t blame your spouse but let your spouse admit that he was wrong about something. Blaming your spouse and admitting that he/she is wrong is a two very different things. Blaming your spouse may cause problems and more arguments in the future but when he/she admitted that he/she is wrong there’s a big chance that the problem or arguments will going to ease and be settled.
This apply to you too. Don’t apply your pride to the problem. Pride will only cause you of more problem so you better watch out of it. If you’re wrong about something don’t say “we” just to feel yourself more better. Just admit that you’re wrong about some things and maybe it will hurt your pride at first but it wont hurt your marriage.
What if your spouse it the one that blaming you?
My answer here is “Just understand them”, this is one of my mistakes on the past, when my spouse blames me about some thing, I blame him back with the wrong things that he did on the past. Which is very wrong and unhealthy to our marriage that eventually cause our marriage to almost end.
If your spouse is the one that blaming you about all the things that are happening you shouldn’t blame him black. Just try to understand your spouse calmly and listen to your spouse even if its just repeated arguments and try to understand what is the point that he/she is giving and try to improve yourself. But when the point he is giving is pointless just try to understand him/her and When the mood is calm you can talk to him about the problems and settle it properly so it wont cause any other problems.
4.) Listen when your partner is talking.
Did you know that the number one reason of the marriage falling apart and causing divorce is the lack of communication to each other. We know that even if your both together in a same house living in the same room but when problem strike there could be some lack of communication.
This lack of communication should be avoided. Every problem should be talked about and don’t let time fix it without talking about it. Because if the time fix it this could cause you another problem in the future. For example: Your marriage has a problem and both of you didn’t talk about it. What happen is you both forgot it for now. But there is a chance that the problem may be opened in the future and may cause more damage to your marriage.
What you should do is try to talk about the problem and find a solution and also try to listen what your spouse is telling about you. Don’t be afraid to suggest things to your spouse and just understand him/her. Don’t be afraid to talk about things that may cause your marriage to have a divorce. It maybe hard to talk about it at first but its what matter, if you really want to save your marriage from a brink of divorce.
5.) agreement or compromise
This one is the most obvious tip on this list.
Compromise means that both of you should have a agreement or same thoughts of things that matter to your marriage. This is the number one key to a successful marriage. Your partner should be willing to listen to your point of views about what’s happening to your marriage and talk about what’s the most good thing to do to fix your problem.
But it doesn’t mean that your the one who will lead the relationship, remember that you should listen to your partner too. There are two of you in this marriage and don’t take all the responsibility by your own. By hearing your spouse point of view you should talk about what you agree and what you don’t agree with.
There must be some middle grounds where you both agree on and start there to fix your marriage.
Remember that this middle ground will be your new foundation to fix your marriage. So you need to be sure about what your agreement to be made of, make sure that both of you are happy, contented and flexible with this new agreement. When this happen there is a big part for your marriage to be fix.
But also remember that this part is never easy. I’m not saying that it’s impossible. But both of you should cooperate to each other to achieve this kind of result. And through time with a nice communication to each other your marriage will be saved.
6.) Ask yourselves why you want to save your marriage.
There is a reason why you wanted to get married with your husband/wife and that reason is you probably love him/her to the point that you want him/her to be part of the rest of your life. if both of you really wants to save your marriage then you should work on it. Reading this blog means you’re doing the right thing for finding a way to save the marriage that you take care off for years.
Believe me when I tell you that there are more reasons for you to save your marriage from a brink of divorce. Think about the happy moments, your children and everything that matters to your married life and this will give you more confidence for you to stay married.
7.) Make your spouse the priority.
Sometimes the reason of arguments or misunderstanding to your married life is just as simple as not making your spouse the priority. Maybe your spouse is just finding some of your attention that you’re not giving to him unlike when both of you are newly married. Let him/her feel that he/she is still your priority and nothing has change the way you look at him/her.
You can do this by giving him/her more time. Ask your spouse to a date. Or out of town if you can. Enjoy moments with just the two of you without thinking any of the problem. And use this opportunity to open up about the problems and where you want your marriage to go.
Making your spouse feel important to you and giving him/her more attention can change the mood of your marriage and maybe this will be the reason for your marriage to be fixed again.
8.) Go back to the beginning and have those happy moments again.
This one is my favorite out of all the eight tips that I give to you. This last Tip made my marriage fully recovered again. So here what you should do:
Ask your husband or wife for a date again and bring her to where you first met and where your first date is. Be romantic again just like before. Remember what both of you are before everything goes wrong. Make him/her remember all those good things that happened to your relationship and why both of you have decided to get married.
This may sound a little cheesy or movie like. But this actually works. See if the sparks is still there. Find out if you can still fix your marriage. Set the mood up and talk about all the things that happened in the past and why it all happens.
With this kind of deep conversation both of you will be comfortable and will have a good communication to talk about your marriage and what are the plans that you should do to save it.
You should understand your spouse and should have good communication to each other. You need to talk about all the details on how you can fix your marriage. Don’t blame each other because this may only cause more problems in your marriage and have a permanent damage to your marriage.
If you’re thinking on where I got this kind of tips and how I actually save my marriage from a brink of divorce, you can check the “save the marriage system” by Dr. Lee H. Baucom.
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“REMEMBER TO TAKE ACTION SO THAT YOU CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE TODAY.”