You being here means that your wife is asking you for a divorce. I don’t know the reason of this or maybe there is no reason at all or what you called “out of the blue”.
I know this feeling and I know that it is scary when your spouse suddenly ask you for a divorce and telling that she wants to leave you.
Having this kind of unease feeling can distract you physically and emotionally. At this point you’ll do everything you can to save the marriage. But, what if your wife said that “I’m done” after all the efforts and fixing that you did?
What would you do? Would you give up or you just continue to save your marriage?
Of course you being here means you want to save your marriage.
So you’re lucky that you have found this blog because I will share you some tips on how to save a marriage when she wants out, that you can possibly do to make your wife come back at you.
Top 10 things you SHOULD NOT do if your wife wants out:
1. Do not say the ILY word at her.
This maybe contradicting to some of you because the word “I love you” is one of the important word in a relationship.
But trust me she is not in the mood to hear this words coming out of your mouth. This may just make things worse. If you said this words at her the only thing that your wife will feel is your being “pushy” and manipulative.
2. Do not Go wild!
Most of the men who is in this kind of position where there wife is asking for a divorce, is going wild. What I mean by wild is being drunk every time, coming home late with friends and sometimes doing drugs.
I cant blame you if you’re one of them and thinking that this is the solution to ease the pain that you’re feeling right now. But I’m telling you this is not the solution. You should change the way you think if you really want your wife to come back at you.
3. Do not spy on your wife!
This is one of the biggest mistakes than can cause your wife to really file the divorce that she wanted too. Just have trust on her even if its hurting you. Don’t spy on her and follow her in you car, don’t check her messages and don’t ever check her social media accounts. Always remember her privacy.
4. Don’t Buy your wife a present
In this kind of situation where your wife is thinking or already made up her mind to file a divorce, don’t you ever buy her a present if there’s no special occasion. This may seems like pressuring her to came back at you even if its already finish.
But if there’s a special occasion for example: anniversary, you can ask her nicely to a date if she said “yes” that is your chance, If she said “No” then accept it move on. Don’t bug her anymore, in this kind of situation a little pressure on her may cause a big fight that can lose your marriage.
5. Don’t ask any relatives of your wife for a help
You can’t ask the relatives of your wife for a help, asking your wife family for a help with this kind of private problems wont do any help. Your wife will only get upset on you and you’ll just make all things worse and that’s the thing you don’t want to do when your wife wants out of your marriage.
6. Don’t act like a wretched.
This is the common mistakes that people do when they are in a down moments. They act like a wretch or like a sad puppy at home. This is another thing that wont help you to save your marriage at all.
Showing your wife that you’re like a sad puppy wont make her feel guilty and make her comfort you. The only thing that she will see is how petty you are.
7. Do not make her read some marriage books.
Don’t try to make her read books about love or marriage remember that if she want to read books about marriage, she will do it. Don’t make her try to remember the past about how happy you both are. It would pressure her and make her out of mood if you do this.
8. Don’t make a demands.
Don’t make demands how you should be treated. This is a wrong way of approaching things when you want to save your marriage. Don’t even beg or ask for her attention it can only make things worse and may have opposite effects and turn your wife off.
9. Do not send too many calls and text
This is a no brainer thing to do. Doing this will just make a pressure to your wife. Instead of flooding her with text and calls just text her once. A message that she will remember. Don’t flood her with useless phone calls or text. It’s a very wrong way to do it . this wont make your wife come back at you.
10. Do not bargain yourself she’s not a buyer
Don’t ever tell her how good you are what’s good about you and anything like bargaining yourself. Don’t even point how good her life when she married you. This will feel her uncomfortable and irritated about your presence.
Don’t put pressure on your wife in this kind of moment. Understand her and care for her. It may seem easy to said but at this kind of moment this is all you can do to make her comfortable. Making her comfortable while your wife is still beside you is the best way to make her feel that you’re still worth it.
That was the 10 things that you should avoid if your wife wants out of your marriage. If you avoid those things that I mentioned earlier you are good to go and you can read the top 10 things that you should do to save your marriage. But if not avoid them as soon as possible.
Top 10 things you SHOULD do if your wife wants out:
1. Do your best!
We all know that doing are best is the most important thing in a relationship. What I mean by do your best is bring you “best self” to this kind of situation. Don’t panic if you’re wife wants out, be calm and think of a solution that you can make to prove her that her decision is wrong.
But as I said earlier don’t put pressure on your wife because it will only make things worst.
2. Always be fresh
Yes. this is one of the most important thing that you should do. Men also have the right to keep there appearance good, always be fresh, keep your good hygiene in check.
Imagine yourself sitting on a couch holding a can of beer, not taking a shower and watching TV with a long beard. Do you really think that your wife will be attracted to you if she see you like this? Of course no.
So always keep yourself fresh so that your wife will be entice at you
3. Respect your spouse.
Even if she said that she wants out of your marriage you still have to respect her like before. Always respect her decision but give her a good advice if you have a chance. Don’t ever disrespect her just because she wants a divorce. If you really want to save your marriage then you should always respect her.
4. Have confidence
Act like your moving forward with confidence whether your wife will stay or leave you. Acting tough will confuse her and make her doubt and that’s a good thing, because she will be the one who will come to you and ask you.
This maybe hard but for me this is the most important thing that you can do to make her curious about your marriage.
5. Be busy.
Always be busy. Continue your life , your journey. This is not the end of your life just because she said that she wants a divorce. Go out with your friends, family or even on your own, Hangout with your children, go to a peaceful place. Have some exercise etc.
There are so many things that you can do even without your wife. You just need to enjoy everything and look at the positive side of your life and this will make you more matured and more calm as a person.
But when you’re going out still ask your wife if she wants to go. If she said “Yes” then its good. But If she said “No” its okay don’t change your plan and still go on. Remember this is for you not for your wife.
The better you are, the higher your chance that she will comeback at you. Always remember that no one wants to comeback to a wasted person. So Suit up!
6. Give her space.
Your wife asking for a divorce may means that she need more space on your relationship. So just give her space. Don’t bug her every time that she’s not home. As I told earlier you don’t need to bug her, flood her with text and calls just to know where she is.
Just give her time to relax just and think. Dropping a voice call or text saying “take care” or something near to that is enough. You don’t need to always ask her where she are. Always remember that you don’t need to pressure her.
7. Be pleasant
Be that person that your wife wanted too. That person who wants around because you are pleasant. I know that your mood is sometimes off because of the fact that she wants a divorce, but if you really want to save your marriage just control your mood and be pleasant to her.
Your wife wants a divorce doesn’t mean that you will be rude to her. The best thing you can do is do your best and be pleasant.
8. Allow your spouse to open up.
Your wife opening some topics about your marriage is a good sign. Because this only mean that she still care about the relationship that you built for years.
So when she comes around and ask some questions to you just listen sincerely. And also open up about your feelings too. This is a good moment for both of you. Just show her that you still care about your marriage and be an active listener.
Also be patient of any decisions that you both agreed too. Remember that both of you should have the same decisions.
9. Say NO to arguments.
If your wife is provoking you just don’t take the bait. She is just trying you if you’ll take it and make more reasons to have a divorce. Whatever she does, just don’t engage with an argument. Let her do her thing. Eventually she will stop at provoking you.
In this kind of situation be the one who is matured in your relationship. If you take the bait the only thing that is waiting on your marriage is divorce.
10. Get help
Do get help from others. There are some books and audio books out there that is really helpful to save your marriage.
I personally don’t recommend to get a marriage counselor. Its expensive and besides to that it needs cooperation of both of you, what if your wife doesn’t want to go to a counselor? That means another argument. We both know that you don’t need this argument in this kind of situation.
There is a online product that I recommend for you. This is the “save the marriage system” and I also write a review about it. Because of countless marriage that is saved. If you’re interested about my review Click here
It is devastating to here from your wife that she wants a divorce. But even she said that you she wants a divorce. Deep inside she still care about your marriage.
Just remember that “Pressure” will make her go away so don’t put any pressure on her. Always be calm at a bad situation. Just respect her all the time and be a good listener if she wants to talk about the marriage. And remember to make a positive changes in yourself that can impact your relationship.
Follow all this Do and Don’ts and be consistent, eventually you will see a change on her that will make your relationship more better.
Purchase “Save the Marriage system” by Dr. Lee Baucom (Recommended).